Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
