Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
