Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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