He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
