You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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