as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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