That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
