U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
