wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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