Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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