So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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