shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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