My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
