my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
