Cold hands, warm shart.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
