Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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