last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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