she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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