i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
