You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
