my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
