Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
