I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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