I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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