youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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