There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize