I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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