I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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