he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
