We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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