If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize