I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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