Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
she looked like the before picture.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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