I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
there is glitter all over my balls
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