There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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