Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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