I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
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what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
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Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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