Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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