All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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