u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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