i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
