too bad you live with your parents still
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
