Joe is yelling at the trees again.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize