Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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