her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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