Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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