If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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