so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize