i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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