so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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