I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
