My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm at about main and main street
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
