There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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