There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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