Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
