she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
