you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You took a bar mat shot.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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