i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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