He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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