Yo dont text me then not text me
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
