But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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