I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
