The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
