real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Operation Purity has been aborted
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
