Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
