the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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